All My Children

Harry is a popular boy who loves to be involved in all activities in the pre-school. He is a polite, well-behaved child who follows instructions and is confident. However, whenever there is a more physical or boisterous activity going on, Harry becomes quite out of control, very excited and appears not to be able to hear adults giving him instructions about expected behaviour. Continue Reading »

An uncomfortable problem for you as an idealistic young person, especially in the early teens, is the sharp contrast between the physical side of sex and the romantic, tender, spiritual side. By the time you are in your late teens or early twenties, these two aspects will tend to fuse together (sooner in one individual, later in another), giving strength and meaning to each other. But at first they are so opposite that they seem to battle against each other. Continue Reading »

I don’t think that the recent trend to earliness in dating and in going steady and in sexual intimacy means a readiness to share love, in a great majority of cases. In past generations in America, as well as in other Western societies like ours which are committed to advanced education, a great majority of young teenagers with aspirations were satisfied for a couple of years to be in love from a distance most of the time, with only occasional encounters; they did not become heavily involved until their late teens. Continue Reading »

It is difficult to break away from parents to whom you are close and the adolescent often has feelings of guilt. For this reason the magnifying glass may be used to exaggerate parents‘ faults and attitudes in order to justify breaking away — parents who are too understanding can actually make the process more difficult. Parents who seem unlike the ‘ideal’ parents presented by the media or decided upon by the larger adolescent group to whom the child belongs may be criticized. Many adolescents become so self- conscious about themselves, that this self-consciousness is enlarged to include the parents, who become a constant source of embarrassment to the teenager. This can be a testing time for parents, particularly if they begin to look at themselves and each other through the adolescent’s magnifying glass. Compromise and tolerance are as essential between parents as they are between parents and adolescent, and parents can set an example that is well worth passing on. Continue Reading »

A persistent sad or negative mood

Most parents may at some point, if not frequently, complain that their teenager has a “lousy attitude.” It isn’t at all unusual for adolescents to experience emotions and mood swings that seem out of proportion to the circumstances. But the depressed child or teenager seems to be in a perpetual slump.

Unfortunately, you won’t hear a young person say, “In case you haven’t noticed, I’ve been depressed for the past several weeks.” Instead, you may see any of a number of the following signals that would appear disconnected: Continue Reading »

The task of achieving independence from parents

With rare exception, adolescents develop a powerful drive to become independent, to be in charge of their daily affairs and their future. As a result, bucking the limits, challenging authority, and resisting constraints imposed at home and school are pretty much par for the course. Just as in the first adolescence of toddler days, the extent of willfulness and the lack of good judgment can at times be spectacular. And while it may sometimes seem outrageous, some degree of struggling against parental control is a normal and necessary part of growing up. Continue Reading »

Take an informal poll of one hundred adults about what years of their lives they would never want to repeat, and you will probably hear “junior high” most often. All too frequently, a relatively well-adjusted, good-natured twelve-year-old enters the seventh grade and two or three years later emerges emotionally (if not physically) battered and bruised. What turns these years into such a war zone? Continue Reading »

It is impossible to state a single course of action that will resolve all the va ious forms of menstrual irregularity. However, if there appears to be no underlying disturbance that needs specific treatment and the problem is determined to be irregular ovulation, a doctor may recommend hormonal treatment to regulate the cycle. This may take the form of progesterone, which can be given at a defined time each month to bring on a menstrual period. Or birth control pills may be recommended to restore some order by overriding a woman’s own cycle and establishing one that is more predictable. As mentioned earlier, the decision to use this type of medication in an adolescent must be made with particular care and discernment. Continue Reading »

Physical punishment (specifically, disciplinary spanking) is a tool that can be useful in specific circumstances. However, some voices in our culture condemn all spanking, based on claims that it teaches violence, perpetuates abuse, damages a child’s dignity, and doesn’t change behavior. These criticisms are valid for abusive forms of corporal punishment such as slapping, kicking, beating, and in cases of spanking when it is used excessively or inappropriately, such as when representing an expression of anger and frustration, causing injury.

But when utilized with appropriate guidelines, spanking can and should be neither abusive nor damaging to a child’s physical or emotional well-being. With toddlers and preschoolers, a controlled swat on the behind may be appropriate to bring a confrontation to a timely conclusion. A disciplinary spanking should be administered only in response to an episode of willful defiance characterized by a clear, appropriate parental directive that the child understands and is capable of following; a direct challenge from the child, especially with a disrespectful or hostile tone; or persistent and blatant refusal to cooperate. Continue Reading »

Physical abuse is perhaps the easiest form of abuse to recognize, but its definition varies among doctors, health professionals, parents, and states. Spanking a child one time on the buttocks, for example, when done in a controlled and loving fashion, may be an appropriate form of discipline to one parent but perceived as abuse by another.

Physical abuse often occurs when a parent (or other adult) who is stressed and upset strikes out at a child in anger and frustration. Adults who are at higher risk for this type of behavior include those who

• were abused themselves as children;
• have relationships with other adults (often their spouse) in which physical violence recurs;
• are stressed by finaVal, employment, or marital problems;

Continue Reading »