All My Children

Children need to develop a range of skills in order to utilise play experiences to the full. These can be considered in six areas and generally, there needs to be a fairly balanced development in each one. The six areas are:

Social — where the child shows an interest in other people and begins to develop empathy

Communication — where the child wants to communicate through verbal and non-verbal communication

Fine motor skills — where the child develops fine motor co-ordination and dexterity

Gross motor skills — which are related to mobility and body posture Imagination and thinking skills — needed for pretend play

Attention — where the child develops concentration and focused attention

It can be very useful to use the following tables as a checklist to consider children’s strengths and the areas in which they may need support at different ages and stages. Continue Reading »

Since the child often cannot really know what will be done to him, many events not actually painful will nevertheless make him fearful. After such an event, a child will typically play out the experience in fantasy. Following a visit to the dentist, for example, the child might play at fixing another child’s teeth, telling him to keep his mouth wide open, as he himself was instructed, and inserting little pieces of cardboard to take X rays. If no other “patient” is available, a toy animal will do. The many hours a child may spend in such play is a clear indication of how much actual time he would have needed in the dentist’s chair in order to truly understand what was done to him and why, and to deal appropriately with all the emotions the experience aroused. Just as we can understand and analyze events that move too fast for our comprehension by watching them in slow-motion replays, so the child learns to understand and analyze, through long hours of repetitious playback, events previously beyond his comprehension. Continue Reading »

Transition homes in the community

This is an area where it is extremely difficult to succeed. Because of the stigma attached to the street children, people in the community generally fear to accommodate them in their own homes. There is a tremendous need to educate the community in this regard; already the project held its first seminar in the township to make people aware of the street children’s plight and of its difficulties in finding transition homes, before the children can return to their own families. The project has also approached the churches for transition homes, but failed to obtain a positive response! As a result, it applied to the local township council and was given a piece of land to erect a transition home but funds are needed to build such a home to accommodate the children. Continue Reading »

The Cotonou Seminar pointed out that ‘among the reasons most often heard from street children, that of the family was the most common to explain their departure from home‘. The immediate causes given by the Philippines on why there are street children all have to do with the family. Vanistendael also said the same: ‘the immediate cause is nearly always a dysfunctioning in the family‘. ‘The reasons why children take to the streets are complex and manifold. Broadly speaking, a distinction can be drawn between the push and pull factors. Continue Reading »

Parents who do not consider that the child’s pleasure may not be parallel or equal to their own can create serious problems for him. An example of this can be observed in roughhousing play between parents and children. Children usually enjoy such play, but only up to a point. Most infants and small children enjoy being thrown up into the air and caught, if this is done with moderation and great care, and not for too long. Such limited play reassures them that they can safely lose contact for a moment with their parent without danger; further, it gives them confidence that their parents can turn potentially dangerous situations into safe ones. Continue Reading »

Few other types of play can quite compare with doll play for eliciting deep parental involvement. Still, there are many other aspects of children’s play which can affect a parent deeply, through recollections and other feelings it activates, particularly when a child’s play reminds the parent of having played with the same toy, or having played in similar fashion. Also, the older the child gets, the more easily do play activities echo not only the parent’s own childhood experiences, but also his present hobbies or recreations. For example, the teenager who can play a serious game of chess has an experience very similar to his parent’s in doing so. Continue Reading »

If we truly took our child’s play as seriously as we take our own tasks, we would be as loath to interrupt it as we are reluctant to be interfered with when we are working. This is the pattern demanded by consistency and a sense of fairness; and one reward for thus respecting our child’s play is that it enhances his own sense of play as an important activity in the whole context of family life.

This is not to say that parents always take play lightly. After all, we want our children to enjoy themselves; we buy them toys and take them to the playground; we are conscientious about providing opportunities to play. Continue Reading »

On the other hand, such parallel investment in play can work well for a time and then backfire through adult motives. The following story is an illustration of the point, and it involves a partly happy but much more unhappy memory that haunted a highly successful man all his life. The man’s father was very much involved in stamp collecting, so the youngster needed little urging to become an avid stamp collector too. Continue Reading »

Chess was used as a metaphor for human relations. Here I would like to stress that this, the most intellectual, complex, and refined of all games, from which chance is entirely eliminated, is essentially a war game. In chess the fighting spirit, without which success is not possible, must be sublimated to the utmost degree; otherwise it interferes with the high measure of concentration, planning, and foresight which are at all times necessary. Continue Reading »

Contrary to adult fears—the usual motive for many parents to supervise and regulate their children’s games—even aggressive play in childhood serves often crucial civilizing functions. This is true if children are left to their own devices, in which case it only very rarely leads to mishap. Iona and Peter Opie, to whom we owe the most sensitive and comprehensive study of the games modern British children play on their own and under supervision by adults, write: Continue Reading »