All My Children

A child become familiar with material things and their properties as he plays with them; thus he masters objects and they become acceptable to him. This is why playing with his food is so important to the infant, and why he tries to feed the person who is feeding him. Through handling the food it becomes familiar to the infant; it becomes truly his food. The more he mashes it, the safer he feels it is and the more pleasant to ingest. By feeding his mother, he demonstrates to himself that he is not just the passive recipient of food but also its active dispenser; mastering the process of feeding makes eating all the more enjoyable. Continue Reading »

Christmas is not the only children’s holiday which symbolically celebrates childbirth, fertility, and the rebirth of nature; May Day, which is hardly celebrated anymore in the United States, with its dance around the Maypole also used to be an occasion for festivities enjoyed particularly by children and youth, although with the active participation of the entire community. It was truly a day when “young and old came forth to play.” Continue Reading »

One of my twin boys is always arguing with me. Whatever I say, he always has an answer.

He may have found a way of getting your attention. Refuse to be drawn into arguments. If he disagrees with you, say that you’re sorry but you don’t intend to have a discussion, and remain firm.. Bids for individual attention are quite usual, but try to make sure that they each have some time when they can talk to you on your own. Have some separate outings, even if it’s only to the local shops.

One of our twins is much more sensitive than his brother and is easily upset. We find that we are letting him get away with a lot more because if we tell him off he reacts badly. Continue Reading »

When a child has got locked into negative attention-seeking, he may find it difficult to produce good behaviour. Only when alone with the parent, or parents, does the child find it unnecessary to produce bad behaviour because he has the parents‘ undivided attention. This can give parents a glimpse of what the child could be like and encourage them to help the child to become his best self.

One of the keys to unlocking good behaviour is the Star System. The emphasis is on reward for good behaviour rather than penalties for bad behaviour. If parents have reached the end of the road, they have usually run out of penalties anyway: all pocket money has been stopped, the child thrives on negative attention such as smacking and shouting, and may seem uncontrollable. The child has given up working for positive attention. The parents, and the child himself, may find it difficult to see him in a good light. Continue Reading »

A persistent sad or negative mood

Most parents may at some point, if not frequently, complain that their teenager has a “lousy attitude.” It isn’t at all unusual for adolescents to experience emotions and mood swings that seem out of proportion to the circumstances. But the depressed child or teenager seems to be in a perpetual slump.

Unfortunately, you won’t hear a young person say, “In case you haven’t noticed, I’ve been depressed for the past several weeks.” Instead, you may see any of a number of the following signals that would appear disconnected: Continue Reading »