All My Children

Attraction only to ‘bad’ Girls

There are boys who can feel no physical attraction to a girl they respect or have tender feelings for—they respond only to ‘bad’ girls or girls who would be considered entirely unsuitable by their parents. This disturbance is fairly common—for girls as well as boys—in the early years of adolescence, but tends to wear off in a majority of cases. In a few unfortunate individuals it persists for life. (A persistent case may yield to psychiatric treatment.)

The disturbance is caused by an excessive inhibition of sexuality in the six- to eight-year-old period, when the boy comes to feel a taboo that is particularly strong against any romantic interest in his mother, for whom his respect and tenderness are the highest. Next in order come his sisters and other ‘nice’ girls close to the family. And if, as in most such cases, he has grown up with an unusually strong feeling that sex is a dirty business, this makes it doubly sinful to associate it with good girls or women. All the sexual drive he allows himself to recognise is then channelled towards debased members of the opposite sex. Girls with the corresponding problem can feel no sexual response to men for whom they feel respect and tenderness. Continue Reading »

Varieties of Love

There are at least half a dozen quite different varieties of love, all of which go by the same label. In infancy and early childhood love is principally dependent : the small child is tied tightly to his mother, turns to her for all his wants, feels anxious if she is away for long, is elated when she returns. Though dependent love decreases throughout childhood, there is, of course, still an attachment to parents in adulthood. Even married love has a dependent element in it. Love of God is, in part, like the dependent love of parents, though it usually has other spiritual and mystical qualities as well.

By about the age of three, a child begins to be able to love other children companionably and generously, loves his parent of the same sex with intense admiration and develops a romantic and sexual and possessive love for the other parent. These all come under the heading of spontaneous, outgoing love. Continue Reading »

Teenager Ache in the Groin

A boy who is involved in petting which causes him to have erections for long periods without orgasm is apt to develop an ache which seems to be located vaguely in the lower abdomen or in the groin (the groove between abdomen and thigh) or in the testicles. This ache may last for a day or so at a time. The medical name for the condition is varicocele.

Erection of the penis is brought about partly by a constriction of the veins which lead the blood away from the penis. This same constriction causes an engorgement of the veins coming from the testicles and the seminal vesicles and this is the explanation of the ache in varicocele. In Nature’s scheme of things, sexual excitement is expected to lead to intercourse with orgasm, and that puts an end to the constriction of the veins. Continue Reading »

`I spy‘ in the Garden or Park or Looking at Nature

AGE 2 TO 3 YEARS

How it helps your child

This game is familiar to everyone but it is particularly good for preparing children to listen for sounds in words. If you get your child used to the phonic sounds before he is taught them in isolation it will be easier.

What you need

Just to be in the garden or park to play the ‘I spy‘ game.

A box of objects, such as a cat, a dog, a pen, a cup, etc. for the other game. Continue Reading »

As you ponder the process of communicating to your school-age child about sex, remember that the primary message you need to give him—more important in the long run than the specific facts and figures—is the importance of respect:

• Respect for the body each of us has been given and for the Creator of that body
• Respect for the wonder of reproduction
• Respect for privacy in sexual matters, not only his own, but parents, friends, and others’
• Respect for his future and an understanding that sexual activity can have a profound effect on his health and happiness for the rest of his life
• Respect for marriage as the appropriate context for sexual expression

Think in terms of a gradual and relaxed release of information to your child, beginning with the basic naming of body parts and a general understanding of where babies come from during the preschool years and progressing to full disclosure of the reproductive process before puberty begins. Continue Reading »