All My Children

Daniel, a thirty-year-old father of a newborn, expresses this regret. “My parents never told me why we did things—why we lit candles, why we fasted, why we ate matzoh. I always had to read about it,” Daniel continued, “and I resented it. When my daughter is old enough, I’m not going to make that mistake. I’m going to explain things, even if it’s ‘a pain.’ ”

A good time to discuss rituals is prior to, during, or just after their performance. That way the event will be fresh in your child’s mind. If your child does not ask about the basis of a religious practice, you bring it up: “Did you wonder why we celebrate each year?” Continue Reading »

Depending on what being Jewish means to you, your guidance to your child can be as specific as you prefer. Ultimately, what you’ll probably do is assess your child’s needs and determine how Jewishness fits into that picture. I want to supplement your ideas with a few suggestions that have occurred to me in speaking with Jewish parents. Continue Reading »

If you have an interfaith marriage, what religion should you offer to your child? You have several weighty choices, each with its own strengths and weaknesses.

You can choose one religion or the other, from the husband’s or the wife’s background, and make that the religion of your new family. For example, a committed Catholic father and a nominal Protestant mother might elect to bring up their child as a Catholic. The main advantage of this child-rearing strategy is that the child is raised in a single religious environment, as most youngsters are. Whether they are sent to religious school or not, children have a better chance to embrace religion if they concentrate on one coherent set of beliefs and practices. For the parent whose religion is not observed, the fundamental task is to keep an eye out for any possible resentment or guilt. Each parent must be entirely comfortable with the family’s choice of religion. Continue Reading »

In the course of everyday life, the interfaith parent and child run into all types of circumstances that are peculiar to their lifestyle. It is difficult to predict the future for any family, but we can generalize about some common situations that interfaith families face. Along with the observations that we have already discussed, there are other specific tips that parents of different religions may wish to discuss with each other.

Tips for Interfaith Parents

1. Be careful not to provide a cloudy or ill-defined set of moral values. Be specific and unequivocally clear about what you believe.
2. Do you think that God has a special purpose in bringing you together as a couple? If so, be candid about what that purpose is. Tell your child explicitly about your reasons for being together. For example, you might say to your child: “God helped us find each other so that we could have you, and also so that we could bring together people of different religions.”

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