All My Children

Children need to develop a range of skills in order to utilise play experiences to the full. These can be considered in six areas and generally, there needs to be a fairly balanced development in each one. The six areas are:

Social — where the child shows an interest in other people and begins to develop empathy

Communication — where the child wants to communicate through verbal and non-verbal communication

Fine motor skills — where the child develops fine motor co-ordination and dexterity

Gross motor skills — which are related to mobility and body posture Imagination and thinking skills — needed for pretend play

Attention — where the child develops concentration and focused attention

It can be very useful to use the following tables as a checklist to consider children’s strengths and the areas in which they may need support at different ages and stages. Continue Reading »

There are many contributions that only parents can make to their child’s play. For example, no teacher, and certainly no age-mate, can be as deeply and personally involved in play that seems to relate to the child’s future as are his parents. Play is anchored in the present, but it also takes up and tries to solve problems of the past, and it is often future-directed as well. Continue Reading »

If we truly took our child’s play as seriously as we take our own tasks, we would be as loath to interrupt it as we are reluctant to be interfered with when we are working. This is the pattern demanded by consistency and a sense of fairness; and one reward for thus respecting our child’s play is that it enhances his own sense of play as an important activity in the whole context of family life.

This is not to say that parents always take play lightly. After all, we want our children to enjoy themselves; we buy them toys and take them to the playground; we are conscientious about providing opportunities to play. Continue Reading »

In the later teens—at seventeen, eighteen, nineteen—a majority of young people will have lost enough of their shyness and gained enough experience so that they can mix socially with pleasure. Those who are in love will be in love on a more realistic basis than when they were younger—in the sense that they will have got to know the beloved before allowing themselves to become infatuated, and in the sense that they are seeing each other fairly regularly in real life situations, not just dreaming of each other at a distance. Others will not be emotionally ready yet to fall seriously in love, but they are drawn to certain members of the opposite sex and are having regular or occasional dates. Continue Reading »

Between the fifth and twelfth birthdays, many children begin to play musical instruments, start dance lessons, or join scouting or other programs that offer a variety of valuable experiences. As with athletic programs, your child will take to some of these more fervently than to others, and the benefits and costs of each should be evaluated on a regular basis. Pay particular attention to your child’s level of interest, enjoyment, progress, and commitment as well as to any signs of stress or distress.

In general, this should be a time for a child to sample a variety of activities and interests. What does he do well? Where does she fit in? He may not be a whiz with a ball and glove but have a knack with a trombone or a special touch with animals. Finding her niche(s) in life will require trying a number of activities on for size. Some will fit better than others, and she needs to be able to see what works for her without the threat of rebuke or humiliation—although some activities that you consider central to your family’s identity, such as attending church, will not be open for negotiation. Continue Reading »