All My Children

Premarital sex can also cause great emotional stress, and God wants to protect our children from that. Perhaps the biggest problem is the guilt that comes from knowing one has violated God’s standards.

As one young person said, “One of the worst feelings many sexually active people experience is to get up the next morning and realize the person lying next to them is a total stranger. This ‘morning after’ syndrome robs a person of a healthy self- image and a clear conscience, which decreases his ability to experience the transparency needed to cultivate an intimate relationship. On top of that, flashbacks from past sexual encounters can haunt a person the rest of his life, which can leave him feeling ‘grimy’ in the hands of his current lover.” Continue Reading »

Lastly, God wants our children to wait until marriage for sex to protect them from relational problems. The first of these is a breakdown in communication. One young person said, “Like many others, I have learned that if there is too much touching in a relationship, it can cause uneasy feelings which lead to lack of communication.”

Wrote another, “Spending this time on sex takes away from time which could be spent getting to know each other more. Just at the time when the two need to talk most about their deepening feelings, problems they have, and so on, the verbal communication is stopped.” Continue Reading »

There is a battle raging today for the bodies and souls of America’s teenagers, and like it or not, our children are on the front line. Venereal diseases, unwanted pregnancies, guilt, loss of self-esteem, and breakdown in relationships are just some of the results of premarital sexual involvement.

My desire for you as a parent is that you never hear the following statements; or, if you do, that you might know what to do when you hear them.

If only I had waited. I see now how uncluttered my life would have been, how my mind would have been free from this burden that besets me even years later.

If you want to know what it is really like, get two pieces of paper and glue part of one to the other. After it has dried, pull them apart. What you have in your hand is a vivid picture of two people after a premarital sexual relationship—both torn, both leaving a part of themselves with the other. Continue Reading »

Dear Amy,

I know that during this past week you have suffered pain like never before, the burden that you bear is perhaps the heaviest you’ve ever carried. Yet through it all God assures us: “My grace is sufficient for you, for power is perfected in weakness”.

And one thing I’ve come to realize is that God has not declared that life is over because of an unplanned pregnancy. God has great plans for your future. You have not been disqualified from the race. In fact, He plans to draw you closer to Him and teach you to know Him better than you have ever known Him before. Once we realize that our main purpose in life is to know God and glorify Him, life comes into proper perspective. And I believe, Amy, the more you and I know Him and see life from His perspective, the more life and all its struggles and problems begin to be resolved. Continue Reading »

Contrary to adult fears—the usual motive for many parents to supervise and regulate their children’s games—even aggressive play in childhood serves often crucial civilizing functions. This is true if children are left to their own devices, in which case it only very rarely leads to mishap. Iona and Peter Opie, to whom we owe the most sensitive and comprehensive study of the games modern British children play on their own and under supervision by adults, write: Continue Reading »

The runner who times himself or tries to increase his distance and speed, while consciously exercising for his health, is subconsciously trying to prove himself to himself, and unconsciously trying to prove his worthiness to his parents or whoever has taken their place in his unconscious. With good reason the first great athletic competitions were religious festivals, or were intrinsically connected with them. Continue Reading »

To games of chance we give the unconscious meaning that fate will indicate who is its favorite, and whether the gods—those superlative stand-ins for parents—will smile on us. Addictive gambling is usually the consequence of efforts to force one’s luck in order to confirm one’s worth. On the other hand, continuing gambling in the face of persistent loss is a form of self- punishment; unconsciously, the loser feels he is not worthy of being lucky, Continue Reading »

Daniel, a thirty-year-old father of a newborn, expresses this regret. “My parents never told me why we did things—why we lit candles, why we fasted, why we ate matzoh. I always had to read about it,” Daniel continued, “and I resented it. When my daughter is old enough, I’m not going to make that mistake. I’m going to explain things, even if it’s ‘a pain.’ ”

A good time to discuss rituals is prior to, during, or just after their performance. That way the event will be fresh in your child’s mind. If your child does not ask about the basis of a religious practice, you bring it up: “Did you wonder why we celebrate each year?” Continue Reading »

Depending on what being Jewish means to you, your guidance to your child can be as specific as you prefer. Ultimately, what you’ll probably do is assess your child’s needs and determine how Jewishness fits into that picture. I want to supplement your ideas with a few suggestions that have occurred to me in speaking with Jewish parents. Continue Reading »

What Does It Mean to Be a Catholic?

Catholicism is so much a part of religious life in Western culture, both in fact and in fiction, that many people feel they know what a Catholic is without looking deeply into the religion itself. But Catholicism is, in fact, a very complex religion. Even if you are a devout Catholic, don’t assume that your youngster understands Catholic beliefs and rituals. Take the time to discuss even highly Popularized symbols of Catholicism, particularly because your interpretation of what a Catholic is may differ sharply from popular depictions. Continue Reading »