All My Children

Now the progression from infatuation with stuffed animals, to that with real animals, to working in a caring capacity for people at last became clear to her, and to all who had followed her development. What now seemed so obvious, however, had by no means been obvious before. Subconsciously she had prepared herself with animals and tested her ability to take care of these “stand-ins” before she finally could do what all along had dominated her unconscious life: take care of people. Continue Reading »

Charity begins at home, and so does learning about aggression. A child will understand that shooting and killing people is wrong when the parent who was playfully made a target inquires who is going to pour the milk in the future or go to the store for ice cream. Such a question can convince a child of the need to keep his aggression under control in his own best interests, as no abstract description of the horrors of war could do. To be told that what we want to do—shoot the gun—is wrong annoys and frustrates us, and puts us on the defensive. But realizing things on the basis of one’s own experience and interest—that is, a parent who has been shot can no longer serve the child—makes the learning become positive. Continue Reading »

There are many contributions that only parents can make to their child’s play. For example, no teacher, and certainly no age-mate, can be as deeply and personally involved in play that seems to relate to the child’s future as are his parents. Play is anchored in the present, but it also takes up and tries to solve problems of the past, and it is often future-directed as well. Continue Reading »

Few other types of play can quite compare with doll play for eliciting deep parental involvement. Still, there are many other aspects of children’s play which can affect a parent deeply, through recollections and other feelings it activates, particularly when a child’s play reminds the parent of having played with the same toy, or having played in similar fashion. Also, the older the child gets, the more easily do play activities echo not only the parent’s own childhood experiences, but also his present hobbies or recreations. For example, the teenager who can play a serious game of chess has an experience very similar to his parent’s in doing so. Continue Reading »

In reality, you have been slowly releasing your child since birth, and, if he or she marries in the future, you will once again have to release your now-grown child—this time to become one flesh with a spouse. But there will come a time when you must pass the baton to your child. You, of course, will be a parent for life, but your role must change to that of a coach and friend, encouraging your grown child’s progress—and perhaps, later on, watching your grandchildren take the baton to begin their lap. Continue Reading »