All My Children

The Cotonou Seminar pointed out that ‘among the reasons most often heard from street children, that of the family was the most common to explain their departure from home‘. The immediate causes given by the Philippines on why there are street children all have to do with the family. Vanistendael also said the same: ‘the immediate cause is nearly always a dysfunctioning in the family‘. ‘The reasons why children take to the streets are complex and manifold. Broadly speaking, a distinction can be drawn between the push and pull factors. Continue Reading »

Through talks with Catholic children, I have found a few themes which come up again and again. Issues of papal authority, marriage, the Trinity, sexuality, the gender of God, and the Christmas spirit are evident in many Catholic children. To offer a few ideas and some support, I want to present some observations concerning Catholic child-rearing. Continue Reading »

One of your most important goals when passing the baton to your child is to prepare him or her for marriage. If you have a strong and vibrant marriage, it is important to share with your children the principles upon which you have built and maintained this relationship. But if your marriage is less than ideal or you have experienced a divorce, lessons you have learned the hard way can still benefit your children, assuming that you are willing to be candid and transparent about your experience.

At a time when approximately 50 percent of marriages end in divorce and only 10 to 20 percent of the remaining marriages (5 to 10 percent of the total) are characterized by true satisfaction, parents face a formidable job educating their children about selecting a husband or a wife for life. Continue Reading »

Even when a marriage has ended, it is critical to remember that parenting responsibilities have not ended. In the best situations, children of divorced parents should be able to continue a meaningful relationship with both mother and father, even if one has primary custody and the other’s contact is more limited.

In reality, this does not always occur. One parent may abandon the other (and the children), move away, adopt a destructive lifestyle, or behave in an abusive manner. In such cases the other parent will need to carry on alone but supported by other adults who can help fill some of the gaps left by the parent who is gone.

Maintain a civil and cooperative relationship with your former spouse.

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If a divorce is indeed going to take place, now is a crucial time for you to put your children’s welfare ahead of your own emotions. The divorce process itself can be brutal for children if parents do not make very deliberate choices about their behavior—especially in regard to legal matters. The following basic decisions can help keep the damage to a minimum.

Settle as many issues as you can outside the courtroom.

The adversarial nature of legal proceedings and the determination of attorneys to deliver the best outcome for their clients can bring out the worst in people, especially if there are many unresolved conflicts between the parents. One or both members of a divorcing couple may feel justified in attacking and blaming the other for what has happened or even taking revenge in a public courtroom for hurts that have been suffered. You owe it to your children to resolve as many issues as you can without turning the process into an endless nightmare of fights and name-calling, lawsuits and countersuits, and meetings with lawyers and judges. Continue Reading »