All My Children

The identical twin is three months behind the non-identical twin in learning to recognize his own mirror image. This does not mean that having learned to recognize himself, he no longer makes mistakes. Many identical twins have told of their sense of confusion when they have looked in the mirror and for a moment believed that it was their twin who was staring back at them. Sometimes a mirror may be placed in such a way that one twin is reflected in it and the other cannot be seen. It may not be until the mirror refuses to reflect back the gestures of the unseen twin that he realizes that he is looking, not at his own reflection, but that of his twin. A variation on this theme is the story of Alice, aged nine, who was looking through the window of a parked caravan at what she thought was her reflection in a mirror, only to discover that it was her twin sister staring through the window on the other side! Continue Reading »

The closer the twin pair, the greater the distress when one twin dies, at whatever age. For the identical twin, there may be a shock that is similar to losing a limb. If twins have been helped to find a sense of personal identity during childhood, with their own individual friends and interests as well as those in common, they will have some support to help them with the trauma of what may seem like the loss of one half of themselves. Nothing can lessen their grief, but it can be made bearable if every small activity is not a constant reminder of the absence of their twin.

After the acute phase of grief is over, a child of school age should return to school, and his friends encouraged to invite him round so that he does not get trapped by his own fears and lack of confidence. Children in middle childhood are not usually frightened by the idea of death and can sometimes appear quite callous. Continue Reading »