All My Children

It is perfectly natural for them to getdistorted ideas at times. Often they do this without realizing what they are doing. For instance, a little boy picks up a simple block of wood, probably of no value whatever. To his mind it has become a powerful engine, pulling a long line of cars. He plays with gusto, making all the appropriate noises and many more. His vivid imagination is at work.

All young things do this. Puppies and kittens run and tumble and jump, chasing after imaginary objects such as more mature animals would never do. They are forever running and climbing and scampering about. All this activity is preparing them for the time when they will be chasing real things, instead of merely running around in a world of make-believe. This is how they grow. Continue Reading »

This section should not finish without a thought for the older brother or sister of twins.

If there is a very positive relationship between the older child and the twins, there may well be no problem. The older child may be proud of having ‘his’ twins at school and show them off to his friends, or he may lead a completely independent life.

However there are some children, particularly those who are close in age to the twins, who may feel overshadowed. Some twins report back to the parents when the older child misbehaves, so that he feels as if he’s being constantly watched. Even though parents may sometimes find these reports useful, they should be discouraged, as with reports about the other twin. The older child is entitled to his privacy. Continue Reading »

The closer the twin pair, the greater the distress when one twin dies, at whatever age. For the identical twin, there may be a shock that is similar to losing a limb. If twins have been helped to find a sense of personal identity during childhood, with their own individual friends and interests as well as those in common, they will have some support to help them with the trauma of what may seem like the loss of one half of themselves. Nothing can lessen their grief, but it can be made bearable if every small activity is not a constant reminder of the absence of their twin.

After the acute phase of grief is over, a child of school age should return to school, and his friends encouraged to invite him round so that he does not get trapped by his own fears and lack of confidence. Children in middle childhood are not usually frightened by the idea of death and can sometimes appear quite callous. Continue Reading »