All My Children

Giving a party can be a great deal of fun. It can be held to celebrate something special, or because it’s a particular time of the year; or it can be a spur of the moment get-together with friends. But whatever the occasion you’ll want it to go with a swing. And the nicest parties are usually those which have some careful planning behind them: ideas to get them going, and ideas for toning them down if they get too exuberant. Continue Reading »

There is a battle raging today for the bodies and souls of America’s teenagers, and like it or not, our children are on the front line. Venereal diseases, unwanted pregnancies, guilt, loss of self-esteem, and breakdown in relationships are just some of the results of premarital sexual involvement.

My desire for you as a parent is that you never hear the following statements; or, if you do, that you might know what to do when you hear them.

If only I had waited. I see now how uncluttered my life would have been, how my mind would have been free from this burden that besets me even years later.

If you want to know what it is really like, get two pieces of paper and glue part of one to the other. After it has dried, pull them apart. What you have in your hand is a vivid picture of two people after a premarital sexual relationship—both torn, both leaving a part of themselves with the other. Continue Reading »

Dear Amy,

I know that during this past week you have suffered pain like never before, the burden that you bear is perhaps the heaviest you’ve ever carried. Yet through it all God assures us: “My grace is sufficient for you, for power is perfected in weakness”.

And one thing I’ve come to realize is that God has not declared that life is over because of an unplanned pregnancy. God has great plans for your future. You have not been disqualified from the race. In fact, He plans to draw you closer to Him and teach you to know Him better than you have ever known Him before. Once we realize that our main purpose in life is to know God and glorify Him, life comes into proper perspective. And I believe, Amy, the more you and I know Him and see life from His perspective, the more life and all its struggles and problems begin to be resolved. Continue Reading »

• Parentless children: Again, following a divorce, children may find themselves in a catch-22 situation where they feel unwanted by both their new stepfather and their new stepmother. This seems to affect the boys especially who tend to be far more rebellious than girls. For a time, boys may move between the two new ’sets of parents‘ without ever settling down, until the day comes when they feel unwanted by both ’sets’ and decide to make it on their own on the street by leaving their families.

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Girls are as subject as boys to all kinds of frustrations, very much including sibling rivalry and anger at their parents, and so it would serve them equally well to be able to discharge their anger through symbolic play, as with toy guns. Furthermore it would prevent their feeling frustrated because an important type of symbolic play available to boys is not available to them. By playing with guns they too would get things out of their system. They would realize that boys are not advantaged in comparison to girls in this respect. Continue Reading »

There are many contributions that only parents can make to their child’s play. For example, no teacher, and certainly no age-mate, can be as deeply and personally involved in play that seems to relate to the child’s future as are his parents. Play is anchored in the present, but it also takes up and tries to solve problems of the past, and it is often future-directed as well. Continue Reading »

Parents who do not consider that the child’s pleasure may not be parallel or equal to their own can create serious problems for him. An example of this can be observed in roughhousing play between parents and children. Children usually enjoy such play, but only up to a point. Most infants and small children enjoy being thrown up into the air and caught, if this is done with moderation and great care, and not for too long. Such limited play reassures them that they can safely lose contact for a moment with their parent without danger; further, it gives them confidence that their parents can turn potentially dangerous situations into safe ones. Continue Reading »

Few other types of play can quite compare with doll play for eliciting deep parental involvement. Still, there are many other aspects of children’s play which can affect a parent deeply, through recollections and other feelings it activates, particularly when a child’s play reminds the parent of having played with the same toy, or having played in similar fashion. Also, the older the child gets, the more easily do play activities echo not only the parent’s own childhood experiences, but also his present hobbies or recreations. For example, the teenager who can play a serious game of chess has an experience very similar to his parent’s in doing so. Continue Reading »

If we truly took our child’s play as seriously as we take our own tasks, we would be as loath to interrupt it as we are reluctant to be interfered with when we are working. This is the pattern demanded by consistency and a sense of fairness; and one reward for thus respecting our child’s play is that it enhances his own sense of play as an important activity in the whole context of family life.

This is not to say that parents always take play lightly. After all, we want our children to enjoy themselves; we buy them toys and take them to the playground; we are conscientious about providing opportunities to play. Continue Reading »

Children begin by loving their parents; after a time they judge them; rarely, if ever, do they forgive them.

Certainly parents are happy to see their children absorbed in play. But are they equally happy to become engrossed in the playing themselves? If a child’s play is pleasurable to a parent chiefly because he can then pursue his adult activities without feeling bad about neglecting his child, it does not take the child long to realize this. He soon learns that to his parents play itself is not very important, but his being out of their way is; this lesson simultaneously diminishes him and his enjoyment of play, and reduces the capacity of play to develop his intelligence and personality. Continue Reading »