All My Children

Week Three

If all the children got on well in the second week and all seemed to benefit from playing together, it may be a good idea to keep the same grouping for the rest of the programme. On the other hand, if the adult feels that introducing a different child, either as well as or instead of the original friends, would be a good idea then this would be an ideal opportunity to do so.

By the end of Week Three it will probably become apparent if this input is having any effect. A short, formal observation using the same chart as before may be helpful to see if there are any pockets of major improvement or a noticeable lack of it. Continue Reading »

Most adults find it easier to involve themselves directly in complex and adult games, like chess or baseball, than in play on simpler levels, such as stacking blocks or riding a hobbyhorse or toy car. Although the terms “play” and “game” are often used interchangeably, they are not identical in meaning. Rather, they refer to broadly distinguishable stages of development, with “play” relating to an earlier stage, “game” to a more mature one. Generally speaking, “play” refers to the young child’s activities characterized by freedom from all but personally imposed rules (which, unless the child is compulsive, can be changed at will); by freewheeling fantasy involvement; and by the absence of any goals outside the activity itself. Continue Reading »

For example, a child may repeatedly put blocks, toy figures, or other small objects into a truck or box, only to spill them out, put them back in, and spill them out again. A problem with which he may thus be struggling in symbolic form is the one posed to him by defecation: “How is it that something put into my body, such as food, comes out of it, often in small pieces? Does it mean I am losing something permanently from my body?” Putting his blocks into a truck and spilling them out again shows him that, contrary to his anxiety, nothing gets permanently lost in this process. A truck is good for this play because it moves about easily, as the child does, and it carries within its body the small pieces that get spilled out, as he carries food within his body, only to spill the contents of his bowels into the toilet. Continue Reading »

The more opportunity a child has to enjoy the richness and freewheeling fantasy of play in all its forms, the more solidly will his development proceed. Later encounters with learning, games, and sports will strengthen and enhance his knowledge and mastery of the world. But for games and sports, or even for learning to be fully meaningful, his prior experience with play must already have provided a firm foundation. This is why culturally deprived children who had little chance to play and were little played with by parents have such a hard time in school—without the experience of succeeding in play, they do not trust themselves to succeed in school. For this reason, it is not sufficient for parents to wait to share in play activities when they reach a more formalized stage. The older child’s activities may offer more intrinsic interest to a parent, but by that time it may be too late. Both kinds of experience—play and games—are necessary for growing up well. Children lose out on a great deal if TV viewing or even activities such as academic learning prevent them from having rich experiences with both play and games. The ability to enjoy games builds on the play experience. Continue Reading »

Girls are as subject as boys to all kinds of frustrations, very much including sibling rivalry and anger at their parents, and so it would serve them equally well to be able to discharge their anger through symbolic play, as with toy guns. Furthermore it would prevent their feeling frustrated because an important type of symbolic play available to boys is not available to them. By playing with guns they too would get things out of their system. They would realize that boys are not advantaged in comparison to girls in this respect. Continue Reading »

Few other types of play can quite compare with doll play for eliciting deep parental involvement. Still, there are many other aspects of children’s play which can affect a parent deeply, through recollections and other feelings it activates, particularly when a child’s play reminds the parent of having played with the same toy, or having played in similar fashion. Also, the older the child gets, the more easily do play activities echo not only the parent’s own childhood experiences, but also his present hobbies or recreations. For example, the teenager who can play a serious game of chess has an experience very similar to his parent’s in doing so. Continue Reading »

A child become familiar with material things and their properties as he plays with them; thus he masters objects and they become acceptable to him. This is why playing with his food is so important to the infant, and why he tries to feed the person who is feeding him. Through handling the food it becomes familiar to the infant; it becomes truly his food. The more he mashes it, the safer he feels it is and the more pleasant to ingest. By feeding his mother, he demonstrates to himself that he is not just the passive recipient of food but also its active dispenser; mastering the process of feeding makes eating all the more enjoyable. Continue Reading »

Piaget stresses the importance of the child’s learning the rules of the game in the process of socialization because he must become able to control himself in order to do so, controlling most of all his tendency to act aggressively to gain his goals. Only then can he enjoy the continuous back-and-forth interaction with others that is involved in playing games with partners who simultaneously are also opponents. Continue Reading »

To games of chance we give the unconscious meaning that fate will indicate who is its favorite, and whether the gods—those superlative stand-ins for parents—will smile on us. Addictive gambling is usually the consequence of efforts to force one’s luck in order to confirm one’s worth. On the other hand, continuing gambling in the face of persistent loss is a form of self- punishment; unconsciously, the loser feels he is not worthy of being lucky, Continue Reading »

Depending on what being Jewish means to you, your guidance to your child can be as specific as you prefer. Ultimately, what you’ll probably do is assess your child’s needs and determine how Jewishness fits into that picture. I want to supplement your ideas with a few suggestions that have occurred to me in speaking with Jewish parents. Continue Reading »