All My Children

Sean has to be seen to be winning at whatever he plays. This is especially obvious when playing more organised games such as lotto or snakes and ladders. If the game takes a slightly negative turn, e.g. if Sean’s counter lands on a snake and he has to go down it, he will often end up by leaving the table and refusing to play on. However, while things are going in his favour, he is able to complete the game.

Possible reasons for this behaviour

Sean:

• is unable to deal with any perceived criticism or setback
• is used to having his own way
• sees even a slight setback in an exaggerated form
• has low self-esteem and is confusing setbacks with a personal slight has not had any real setbacks in his life and is shielded from anything negative
• does not fully understand the game

Strategies

• Explain and, if possible, demonstrate a game to the children before starting, using very simple language. Do not assume that children know or have understood how to play
• Explain that sometimes, you have to go backwards (or down the snake) and that you always have a chance to catch up and that other people will have setbacks too
• Use social stories and role play. This may help to get Sean used to the idea that sometimes negative things will happen and that there is always a way of dealing with them
• Pay attention to the way Sean behaves in other situations to see if this kind of behaviour is part of his generalised pattern. If it is so, Sean’s self-esteem may be low.
• Encourage Sean to separate things that he has control over from those that he does not.

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