All My Children

Dear Amy,

I know that during this past week you have suffered pain like never before, the burden that you bear is perhaps the heaviest you’ve ever carried. Yet through it all God assures us: “My grace is sufficient for you, for power is perfected in weakness”.

And one thing I’ve come to realize is that God has not declared that life is over because of an unplanned pregnancy. God has great plans for your future. You have not been disqualified from the race. In fact, He plans to draw you closer to Him and teach you to know Him better than you have ever known Him before. Once we realize that our main purpose in life is to know God and glorify Him, life comes into proper perspective. And I believe, Amy, the more you and I know Him and see life from His perspective, the more life and all its struggles and problems begin to be resolved.

God has an answer for this situation. He has a solution. One without pain and suffering? Probably not. Yet, He has plenty of grace, that when appropriated to our lives, will be for our good and His glory. But, I’ve learned I can’t appropriate His grace while responding to life in an unchristlike manner. So, I strive to ” . . . stay always within the boundaries where God’s love can reach and bless [me] you” (Jude 1:21 TLB). Once we begin to respond according to God’s Word, we are then able to move on and clearly understand the choices we have to make.

I know you are struggling, even more than Mom and me, with a flood of emotions and it’s difficult to think straight. I sense that this pregnancy represents the loss of everything you were holding dear. And while it may appear to be that way on the surface, you have not lost everything when you have God as your Savior and Friend. In fact, by properly responding to God and His Word, you will gain far more than you ever imagined.

Remember, Amy, you have sought God’s forgiveness and that means your slate is clean—as far as God is concerned you’ve committed no sin, ever! Mom and I too have forgiven you. We can walk down the street with our daughter as proud as we’ve ever been. What makes us proud, and God too, is the fact that you’ve acknowledged your error, sought God’s forgiveness, and committed your life to Him.

But what about the rest of your life? You have many difficult decisions to make. You have your life and the life of your baby to consider. There are no “perfect” answers. One of the things that makes this so difficult is that there are so many alternatives, and none of them are pleasant. But as you align your responses to the instructions of God’s Word, the clouds will clear and He will make His will known.

I can’t tell you what to do. You have engaged in an adult act and you have an adult decision to make. However, I want to point you to the context in which to make your decision. When you consider your options, do so with one central purpose in mind: “What will bring the most honor to God?”

Right choices will become clear as you (1) Maintain right attitudes (align yourself with God’s Word during trying times, love those who mistreat you, and accept your humbling position with grace); (2) Continue to consider only those options that would bring honor to God; and (3) Obtain wise counsel from mature Christians to confirm the leading you have.

If you decide to keep the baby, you can rest assured we will do all in our power to be the best grandparents possible. We will fill our responsibility in being a godly influence as best we can under God.

If you decide to relinquish the baby for adoption, you can rest assured we will be there to support you, love you, weep with you, and heal together with you.

I love you dearly, Amy, more than you can know. You will always be my little girl. There are brighter and more beautiful days ahead for all of us. God will use this as a stepping stone in all our lives. We will learn much together. We can more effectively minister to others because of how we allow God to use this in our lives.

Through this we can all become even closer as a family than before. Mom and I really felt honored and want to thank you for sharing this with us on the very day you found out. We thank you for the opportunity to be a part of the decisions that affect the life of our first grandchild. No matter what, this will always be a special child to both of us and we have lots of love to share with you and your first child—in whatever way God chooses to let us be a part.

The road may seem dark and lonely at times, but remember we’re always here and want to help. And more importantly, Christ is with you always, your dearest Friend, your closest companion, the One who knows you most and loves you best. Mom and I pray for you daily. I love you, I love you, I love you.

Your Dad

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