All My Children

• Parentless children: Again, following a divorce, children may find themselves in a catch-22 situation where they feel unwanted by both their new stepfather and their new stepmother. This seems to affect the boys especially who tend to be far more rebellious than girls. For a time, boys may move between the two new ’sets of parents‘ without ever settling down, until the day comes when they feel unwanted by both ’sets’ and decide to make it on their own on the street by leaving their families. Usually, the extended family is not there to come to the rescue.
• Abandoned children: Boys born out of wedlock often fall into this category. While they are still young, their mothers are usually able to look after them. However, as the boys grow up, problems start cropping up: bad friends, refusing to go to school, smoking or sniffing glue, fighting, stealing, sleeping out, etc. Unable to control them any longer, their mothers give up and chase them away from home. The street provides them with the ideal refuge to survive. At times, boys born out of wedlock will be brought up by grandparents because their mothers are busy either studying or working. When their mothers marry, the husband sometimes refuses to have the children of another man. When the grandparents die, there is no one to take care of the children who then have to find a place to survive. The street always welcomes children in need!
• Talented children: Boys with a high IQ, born of uneducated and poor parents, at times become frustrated by their family environment because their parents do not see the need for them to be educated; all they want them to do is to go and earn money so that they can support them financially. Such boys will often be tempted to make their own way. The reason for being on the street is to ‘make money’ to carry on their education; however, their dream is seldom, if ever, realised.
• Alcoholic parent(s): Children with alcoholic parents do not mind their drinking as much as they fear its results. After drinking, parents are likely to shout at and to fight one another, they also become less patient with their children and beat them up — at times very harshly. They do not provide them with food or fail to cook for them, and do not give them the essentials they need: clothes, schooling, etc. There comes a time when the children start giving up on their parents and decide to opt out — at first for a day or two, and then for longer periods, until eventually they settle on the street for good.
• Over-strict parents: There are many well-intentioned parents who want their children to grow up the right way. However, they have little understanding of the psychology of a child and of how to bring up children. Usually, their point of reference is their own upbringing which could be summarised as follows: hiding whenever there is a fault, little or no time for discussion with the children and only ‘do as I say’, not allowing them to go anywhere except home, school and church, etc. As a result, seeing other children given far more freedom than they themselves are able to enjoy, these children do not understand their parents and end up deciding that being out of their family is a far better solution than being within it. They move to the freedom of the streets.
• Abused children: Hiding in some homes has become a way of life. As a result, children grow up in fear whenever they happen to make a mistake; they know that if they are discovered, they will be in trouble. There comes a time when a child makes what he/she considers to be a ‘big’ mistake and prefers to run away rather than face the violent consequences. Abused children also include those who are raped or abused sexually. As they grow up, unable to cope with such abuse, they prefer to run away to avoid being subjected to it again. The problem aggravates itself when they are sexually abused on the streets as well.
• ‘Prostitute’ mothers: Boys growing up with a prostitute mother tend to lose all respect for her. While young, they might have been told to call the men ‘visiting’ the family home ‘uncles’. However, as they grow up and start realising what is taking place, they lose all respect for their mothers who will often try to compensate for their behaviour by showering their children with money and gifts. The realisation that their mother is a prostitute usually engenders tremendous psychological problems in children.
• Hungry children: Boys are known to have good appetites! Yet, in these times of drought and unemployment, it is especially difficult for single parents to provide for the basic needs of their children. While most parents try and give food to their children daily, often they do not have the means to satisfy their hunger. Because our social welfare system (especially in former homelands) is poorly organised, children remain hungry. The streets, where the possibility of making a few rands will enable them to buy food, become the only avenue open to them.

Delinquent children: Without going into the reasons for delinquency, the fact remains that most parents with delinquent children do not know what to do in order to put them on the right path. There comes a time when parents give up altogether and allow their children to do whatever they want, sometimes because they even fear them. (Our social welfare system is not yet organised to assist such parents.) As a result, these children will live on the street and occasionally visit their homes. They have complete freedom to do whatever they please and are well on their way to becoming first offenders and future criminals.

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