All My Children

Daniel, a thirty-year-old father of a newborn, expresses this regret. “My parents never told me why we did things—why we lit candles, why we fasted, why we ate matzoh. I always had to read about it,” Daniel continued, “and I resented it. When my daughter is old enough, I’m not going to make that mistake. I’m going to explain things, even if it’s ‘a pain.’ ”

A good time to discuss rituals is prior to, during, or just after their performance. That way the event will be fresh in your child’s mind. If your child does not ask about the basis of a religious practice, you bring it up: “Did you wonder why we celebrate each year?”

While Judaism is an influential religion, Jews are relatively few in number and occupy a minority status in American life. It is important that your child not develop an adversarial relationship to other larger religions, as a way to protect his or her own faith or as a response to prejudice. Be certain not to propagate an “us vs them” philosophy when it comes to comparative religions, for that will not serve your child well. You can guard against this by stressing the fact that Judaism is the forefather of the monotheistic religions of the world. At the same time, you can direct your child to consider the close historical kinship between Judaism and Christianity. Respect for other religions can only increase your child’s pride in your religion and make your child a better person. So convey to your son or daughter that because the Jewish religion was the basis of a number of great religions, your roots are really the same roots that many other people have. And God is the source of everyone’s life.

The Holocaust is a delicate subject that many Jewish parents must grapple with, sometimes in an effort to explain the experiences of deceased or psychologically wounded relatives. “What happened to my great-grandmother?” your child may want to know. It is important that parents of all religions discuss the meaning of the Holocaust with their children, but only when their children seem emotionally ready. The Holocaust is a shocking and grotesque event, a twentieth-century nightmare which cannot be put to rest, but which must be broached with great care.

If your child hasn’t heard about the Holocaust through school or television, it is very likely that he or she will sooner or later. Your child may already be curious about what the Holocaust was and why it happened. The Holocaust is the pivotal historical event for modern Jewry and perhaps the most profound spiritual challenge as well. Questions about God follow naturally from something as hard to discuss as the Holocaust. It even causes some adults and children to wonder if God exists, for how could God allow such suffering? For Jews, the Holocaust and the threat of extinction have prompted a tremendous, passionate interest in the state of Israel. For Christians, the Holocaust can also be seen as a modern crucifixion that must be considered on a theological level as well as a historical catastrophe.

“Why did those six million people die?” your child may wonder. It is important that you know some basic facts about the Holocaust, either through talking to survivors or reading the accounts of Holocaust writers like Elie Wiesel, Abba Eban, or Lucy Dawidowicz. If your child asks you this question, try to speak from the heart. If you feel that you don’t have an answer, then say so—but also tell your child the possibilities that you have considered. Do you think that there is meaning in suffering? Do you believe that God cannot control everything on earth? Questions about the Holocaust are always elemental and answers always seem to be without closure. But all that anyone can ask of you as a parent is to respond to your child with faith and reason.

If it is hard for adults to comprehend the sheer ugliness of the Holocaust, it is nearly impossible for children to make any sense of it. As a Jewish parent, you will not want to downplay its impact, but you must not present the Holocaust as the only theme of modern Jewish life. Try to place it in a historical context. How has being a Jew changed because the Holocaust happened? Tell your child some details about the Holocaust but don’t inundate him or her with horror and anguish. Temper your interest with protectiveness. Talk to your child about questions of faith that still trouble you when you think about the Holocaust. And speak to your child about the future too, for that also holds important questions about faith and God.

In considering what Judaism means, below are a number of intriguing questions which may be of special interest to children. Please use this as a stimulus for your own questions, which can be personally shaped to accommodate the personality and age of your child. Find out why your child believes his or her answers are true.

Possibly related posts: (automatically generated)
Suggestions for Jewish Parents continue…

• Suggestions for Jewish Parents
• What Will Your Religion Be?
• Living the Inter Faith life
• Sitemap
• Parenting: Seeking a Caregivers for Children Part 2
• Have a Caring BABY-SITTERS?
• Avoiding Conflict When the new Baby Comes Home
• Other people in your baby's life
• Crybabies: What Happens When The Tears Won’t Stop? Part 3
• A new baby's skin Care

Trackback URI | Comments RSS