All My Children

What Is an Unaffiliated Believer?

Some families and individuals march to the tune of a different spiritual drummer. While these individuals may have been raised in the major traditions just described, they have decided that formal religion is just not for them. Or alternatively, they have grown up in families which were unaffiliated to begin with. Nonetheless, these individuals come together as couples and continue to pursue an earnest, noninstitutionalized belief in God. If that description fits you and your spouse, then how have you decided to teach your child about God? Continue Reading »

You might tell your child that although your beliefs are different, you still love each other and, of course, your child. If God is love, then that will overcome things that confuse us or make us disagree. Your joint openness and respect for each other will undoubtedly serve as a great comfort to your child.

In contrast, some interfaith parents wish to avoid these embroiled difficulties. They may believe that the best thing to do is to bring up a child without the heavy blanket of religion at all. They may feel that religion is either a burden or just something that will cause difficulty. But their spiritual path—and their children’s—is usually not so clear. Continue Reading »

If you have an interfaith marriage, what religion should you offer to your child? You have several weighty choices, each with its own strengths and weaknesses.

You can choose one religion or the other, from the husband’s or the wife’s background, and make that the religion of your new family. For example, a committed Catholic father and a nominal Protestant mother might elect to bring up their child as a Catholic. The main advantage of this child-rearing strategy is that the child is raised in a single religious environment, as most youngsters are. Whether they are sent to religious school or not, children have a better chance to embrace religion if they concentrate on one coherent set of beliefs and practices. For the parent whose religion is not observed, the fundamental task is to keep an eye out for any possible resentment or guilt. Each parent must be entirely comfortable with the family’s choice of religion. Continue Reading »

Communicating with a child about your religion and background is seldom clear and uncomplicated, but sometimes it is especially challenging. This is often true for interfaith couples. They live in a world of difficult decisions, especially once children come along, and compromise about religion may be their way of life. This situation is increasingly common in America among Protestants, Catholics, Jews, and many others as more people choose marital partners without regard to religious background. Continue Reading »

The second priority for an interfaith couple is to determine what to communicate about God, since that husband and wife may have grown up with vastly different images of God. In a sense, all married couples must deal with this dilemma. Every husband and wife, once they become parents, must figure out a way to mesh their very personalized ideas about God and communicate that integrated view to a child.

Let’s imagine that your concept of God suggests a very nurturing figure who is concerned with nature and the care of all beings. Perhaps your spouse envisions a powerful figure who represents justice and order. What will you tell your child about what God is like? Continue Reading »