All My Children

It is perfectly natural for them to getdistorted ideas at times. Often they do this without realizing what they are doing. For instance, a little boy picks up a simple block of wood, probably of no value whatever. To his mind it has become a powerful engine, pulling a long line of cars. He plays with gusto, making all the appropriate noises and many more. His vivid imagination is at work.

All young things do this. Puppies and kittens run and tumble and jump, chasing after imaginary objects such as more mature animals would never do. They are forever running and climbing and scampering about. All this activity is preparing them for the time when they will be chasing real things, instead of merely running around in a world of make-believe. This is how they grow.

So it is with young children. Not only must they have active muscles but also active minds. They must be encouraged to develop initiative and imagination. Many of our greatest discoveries were first dreamed up in the active mind of a young child. James Watt discovered the power of steam while playing with a teakettle in early childhood. Thomas Edison’s greatest discoveries began when he was a mere boy. All children have some creative ability that must be given a chance for expression. Whatever you do, don’t crush your child’s wonderful imagination or his ability to see and do things that to you may seem impossible.

Most children are born with bright minds capable of far more than they ever accomplish. But young children are never really logical in their thinking. It is difficult for them to think and reason correctly. Their imaginations are too active. Only after years of experience and training can they clearly distinguish between what is true and what may be purely imaginary.

A young child will tell all kinds of “tall tales,” simply because he has not reached the place where he can tell the difference between fact and fancy. As you listen to him, you may be aware that he is stretching the truth a little, but this is not lying in the full sense of the word. He is not deliberately distorting the facts, since he does not understand clearly the difference between truth and fantasy.

Try to Be Tolerant

Parents should not take this too seriously, nor should they believe all their children tell them about what goes on in school. All children are natural hero-worshipers. They hate villains just as vigorously. But their well-meant criticisms of others are often rather distorted and colored by their own particular viewpoint. If you will investigate the situation, you will usually find it quite different. Some parents may object, claiming that their children tell the truth, and this may be true as far as the child sees the situation. The wise parent will investigate for himself, and by so doing he may save many misunderstandings with his neighbors.

This is the time to help your child understand the difference between his own ideas and what others may have seen. When a young child starts telling a tall tale, just listen patiently. Let him finish what he is saying. The more relaxed you are, the better. When he is through, just smile and say, “That’s quite a story. Now let’s go through it again, but this time see if you can tell me what really happened.” If you do this, he will be surprised at how different it all sounds the next time he tells it. And he will have learned the importance of seeing things as they really are.

Deception in Older Children

With older children the situation may be somewhat different, as they usually know when they are distorting the facts. One must move cautiously in drawing unfair conclusions, for even adults may have quite different ideas of what happened in a tense moment. Go into any court of law and listen to the different testimonies of those who have witnessed the same event. It is easy enough to say, “Someone is lying.” Though this may be true in some cases, the judge knows that even the most impartial observers see things from their own point of view.

So it is with the child. It is easy enough for him to be carried away with his own wishful thinking to the extent that he begins to believe his stories are true. For instance, a child may try to impress you with wonderful tales of his own strength and heroism. He is sure he can fight any boy on the street. At first you may be tempted to believe him, but then you begin to understand and make allowances for his boasting.

If this type of boasting continues, it is time for you to ask yourself why. Could it be that your child is jealous of a brother or sister? Is he unable to meet the competition from other children in the neighborhood? Are you giving him all the help that you should as a parent?

Is your child in trouble because he is doing poorly at school? If so, why? Could it be that he needs new glasses so that he can see more clearly? Does he get enough restful sleep at night? Is the family in a constant turmoil because of circumstances beyond his control? Is there something physically wrong with him? What about his ears?

Does he hear as well as he should? These and many other questions should come to the mind of a parent who is faced with the problem of a child who persists in telling lies. Sometimes there is a hidden family situation that should be corrected.

What about your child’s attitude toward other children? Does he feel inferior while playing games in which other children seem to excel? Is this what is preying on his mind? If so, he can be helped. But it will take time and some careful planning on your part if you wish to solve the problem.

It is comparatively easy for some children to make friends. Others are less fortunate; they seem to antagonize their associates. This can cause an awkward situation. Such a child needs help in understanding his problem. Could it be that this child feels you do not love him as much as you should? If this is true, the time has come for you to do some careful thinking on your part, since it is sometimes easier to show affection to a brother or sister who may have a more sunny disposition. But you will never help this child by favoring the others. Every child deserves an equal share of your time and interest. This one needs perhaps even a little more.

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