Jun 26 2008

Educate your twins at the same time (Together or apart?)

Published by dodo at 8:58 am under Baby, Books, Boys, Child Care, Children, Education, FairyTale, Family, Gift, Girls, Kid, Kids Bedding, Kids Clothing, Kids Game, Kids Party, Mommy, Parenting, Toy

Some schools have a policy of placing twins in separate classes, others feel that whatever the relationship between twins, they should always be together. Most leave it up to the parents.

This may be the most important decision that parents make. Often otherwise trouble-free twins may have problems at school caused by unequal ability, unequal division by the twins of educational tasks, language difficulties and unequal teaching, to name but a few.

Sometimes there is no choice, particularly at first schools where there may only be a single form entry.

Children who have attended nursery school on separate days will usually adapt well to being in separate classes. Separate classes, if at all possible, will prevent many of the problems already mentioned, except for that of unequal teaching.

Parents are always anxious to give all their children, not just twins, equal opportunities. However, no two children are the same and teachers are not identical either. There may be difficulties if two class teachers are using very different teaching methods. They may both be equally good, but problems can occur if twins, or parents, believe that one is being held back. It may be wise to enquire beforehand what methods the two parallel classes are using and whether it would be possible to find some common links that will make sense to the twins.

Kids For example, if one teacher allows books to be read at home and the other teacher does not, one child may feel that he is falling behind the other. Perhaps both twins could be allowed to take their reading books home, or one twin could be allowed to take books home from the school library. If there appears to be a great deal of difference in the achievement of the two classes, it may be better to keep the twins in the same class, at least for the first year. Twins who have not been used to separation often settle into school more easily if they start in the same reception class.

Another reason for not separating twins is if there have been any major upheavals in the family. Moving house, the loss of a loved relation, separation or divorce of the parents will all affect the twins and they will gain comfort from remaining together.

If twins are to be kept in the same class, it’s a good idea to sitthem at different tables, well apart from each other. They will then be less likely to respond to the teacher and other children as a pair. They should also be encouraged to partner other children in the class rather than choosing the twin as a partner for all activities. If twins are difficult to prise apart, this can be done slowly and gently, commencing with just one activity.

If at all possible, mixed-sex twins are best placed in separate classes as socially and academically they are less likely to progress at the same rate. It is helpful for them to develop at their own pace.

Newly separated twins may need to be reassured by the occasional visit to the other twin’s classroom during the day, and a place kept next to their twin at lunchtimes. Once they have settled in they may prefer to sit next to their new friends.

Twins can often mask learning difficulties in the co-twin by doing the work for them or showing them how to do it. They may decide to specialize. If one learns to read, for example, before the other, the co-twin may decide that this is not his job. Like one identical twin who told his mother, ‘I don’t see why I need to read if David can.’ Sometimes one twin can be so de-skilled that he can become over-anxious and almost allergic to certain tasks at which he feels his twin is better. Separation and gentle encouragement can usually help him to overcome the difficulty.

Twins are used to working together and are likely to do so at home as well as at school. A deficiency in one may go unnoticed for several years. If, having been together, they are then split up, perhaps for social reasons, this can be a difficult experience for the less able twin. He may find himself unable to keep up with the other children in the class. An early diagnosis of his problem, gentle encouragement, and perhaps some extra coaching will help to restore his confidence.

Although twins may often work together and produce a piece of homework by ‘committee’, it is not unusual for identical twins to produce almost identical work without conferring — in a test, for instance.

If twins are together it can be difficult for teachers to judge their individual work at any stage of their school careers, and school reports often reflect this, like an identikit picture, one being superimposed upon the other.

It can be a great help to teachers if twins are dressed differently so that they can respond to them individually. Different hairstyles, or haircuts, are particularly useful as they prevent playful twinsfrom substituting for each other if one doesn’t like a particular lesson or activity. One little girl who didn’t like going to the school dentist, sent her twin sister in twice.

As we have seen, the development of language ability may be a little behind that of single children. Some twins, particularly boy twins, can take rather longer to settle down at school. Twins understand each other more easily than their classmates or teachers, and the gap may widen. Separate classes will usually help them to adapt more quickly. Most twins catch up by the time they are about eight, though some may always slightly underachieve through no fault of their own. Awareness of the need for extra help in this area, as early as possible in their school career, is important. Bright twins who are held back by poor language can become bored and difficult.

Teachers are often happy to work out a programme with parents to enable them to help their twins at home. Most children respond well to parents who take an interest in their schoolwork in a friendly and positive way and who praise achievement.

Five to ten minutes spent each evening on reading a simple book together will encourage reading ability. If the child loses confidence, parent and child could read alternate sentences. The task is then less likely to become too difficult or boring. Many parents find that they cannot be patient with their own children, and a limited time spent on reading will often prevent frayed tempers. Sometimes one parent, or an older brother or sister, has more patience with a particular child, in which case the job can be handed over to them. Games which involve language, such as Scrabble, are also helpful, and teachers can be approached to suggest others that parents can use to teach their children in a way that is fun for everyone.

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Educate your twins at the same time (Together or apart?)

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