All My Children

Teenager Ache in the Groin

A boy who is involved in petting which causes him to have erections for long periods without orgasm is apt to develop an ache which seems to be located vaguely in the lower abdomen or in the groin (the groove between abdomen and thigh) or in the testicles. This ache may last for a day or so at a time. The medical name for the condition is varicocele.

Erection of the penis is brought about partly by a constriction of the veins which lead the blood away from the penis. This same constriction causes an engorgement of the veins coming from the testicles and the seminal vesicles and this is the explanation of the ache in varicocele. In Nature’s scheme of things, sexual excitement is expected to lead to intercourse with orgasm, and that puts an end to the constriction of the veins. Continue Reading »

Self-Consciousness and Fear of Illness Several factors make an adolescent uncomfortably aware of himself and worried about his physical and mental health: his rapidly changing body draws his attention inwards. So do his turbulent new feelings. A tendency to guiltiness about sex—even in this day of much greater tolerance— often lies behind his vague fears that he may have harmed his body, that he has acquired a venereal or other disease, that he is losing his mind.

Underlying these factors is the uneasy sense of having lost his earlier identity as a child of the family and of not yet having acquired an independent one as an adult.

A teenager because of such worries has a special need of a sympathetic teacher at school or a social worker, or an understanding doctor or clergyman. Continue Reading »

There are more offences committed per capita in late adolescence and early adulthood than at later age periods, for several reasons. Youths feel a rebellious rivalry with parents, teachers, police and other people in authority. They have a compulsion to prove their courage and independence. Their sexual and aggressive impulses are now fully grown but are not yet fully controlled by the caution that comes—fortunately or unfortunately, depending on how you look at it—with experience.

If we want to understand the various kinds of offences for which youths can be charged, we should separate them. First I’ll mention mild delinquencies, of which a good example is petty larceny, which is snitching an apple from the stand in front of a fruit shop or a few pieces of timber at a building site. Continue Reading »

Children Conscience and Punishment

The first thing to realise about juvenile delinquency is that it’s not one type of misbehaviour but an overall term for everything for which an adolescent may be haled into court, from parking offences to murder. It’s as if everything that an adult could do wrong were called adult turpitude, a label which would certainly hinder rather than aid the understanding of different types of adult offences. The reason why all juvenile offences have been lumped together has been to get young people into special courts where, it was hoped, their difficulties could be understood and dealt with constructively rather than punitively; if they had to be removed temporarily from society, they would not be jailed with confirmed adult criminals but placed in rehabilitation institutions. Continue Reading »

Alcoholism is a disease, usually progressive, in which the person has an almost irresistible craving for drink, either in episodes or daily. In each episode he is incapable of stopping voluntarily, so he drinks to the point of incompetence. A great majority of alcoholics eventually lose their jobs because of failure to report for work or reporting drunk. The social disgrace of joblessness and of drunkenness at home and in the neighbourhood, and the tendency of many alcoholics to be abusive at home play havoc with family life. Alcoholics are usually contrite after an episode and full of promises which are never kept. The best record for cures is that of Alcoholics Anonymous, which provides sympathetic companionship, group discussion and a member to keep constant vigil with an individual who fears that an episode is coming on. Continue Reading »

Tobacco

Having suffered miserably from the craving for cigarettes for three solid years after giving them up, and knowing the risk they entail for lung cancer and heart disease, I consider those people fortunate who have never become addicted. Their life expectancy is distinctly better. They’ll never have the distress of withdrawal. They’ll never miss the pleasure because smoking is not a pleasure until the taste is acquired.

Then why do people take up cigarettes? The main reason is the desire of young people to feel and appear grown up. The fact that throughout childhood parents have usually disapproved is an added inducement. I think that the danger of cancer and heart disease, far from discouraging the average young person, is a subtle challenge. It gives him another opportunity to prove to himself that he’s willing to risk danger as unhesitatingly as the next man. Continue Reading »

When I was working years ago in an adolescent guidance clinic, two fifteen-year-old girls were brought to see me within a month of each other with problems that happened to be practically identical. The reason I bring up these cases now is not because I want to focus on the particular problem, which was quite serious (social withdrawal), but because of the marked contrast in both cases between the way the girl presented it and the way her parents did. The girl saw the situation as almost the opposite of the way it appeared to her parents. If there had been only one such case I would merely have been baffled, and would have called it a fluke. But when a similar case followed before I got the first out of my mind, I had to think more about it. Continue Reading »

Gaining their Confidence

It’s the nature of young people to be critical of their parents at times and to feel that most of the misunderstandings between them are the fault of the parents. (A critical attitude helps young people to leave home eventually.) They have always complained, with more or less justice, that parents are out of touch with modern ways, that they are possessive and bossy, that they lack confidence in their children’s ability to cope with social and sexual crises; that they harp unnecessarily on certain issues, that they lack a sense of humour, at least in regard to parent–child relationships. Continue Reading »

Some schools have a policy of placing twins in separate classes, others feel that whatever the relationship between twins, they should always be together. Most leave it up to the parents.

This may be the most important decision that parents make. Often otherwise trouble-free twins may have problems at school caused by unequal ability, unequal division by the twins of educational tasks, language difficulties and unequal teaching, to name but a few.

Sometimes there is no choice, particularly at first schools where there may only be a single form entry. Continue Reading »

The ‘plus’ in ‘five-plus’ probably stands for ‘at last I’ve got a bit of time to myself!’

Twins are expensive, no hand-me-downs and two of everything, so mothers may now start to look for a part-time job if they have not already found one. Not only does this help the household budget but it also offers the opportunity to spend some time with adults to whom they are not ‘the twins‘ mother‘. It’s unlikely that colleagues will be left in ignorance for long!

If there are no younger children, the absence of the twins can feel very strange at first. Parents who have been waiting longingly for the first day of school may find themselves waiting equally anxiously for school to finish at the end of the day. Continue Reading »