May 27 2008
What can be done about depression?
A parent’s role in dealing with depression can be broken down into three key tasks:
Be alert for signs of depression.
These have already been listed, but it bears emphasizing that parents are often caught off guard by their child’s or adolescent’s depression. This disorder can occur even in the most stable home where children have been reared by devoted parents who provide consistent love and limits. Remember that for many individuals depression is caused primarily by a biochemical imbalance in the brain and not by bad parenting or a personal crisis. Don’t assume that “it can’t happen in our home” because in doing so, you might ignore or write off as a “bad attitude” significant changes in mood or behavior that desperately need your attention.
If you suspect that your child or adolescent might be depressed or suicidal, seek appropriate help immediately.
Depression is not a character weakness or a sign of parental failure. It is as important and treatable a problem as diabetes or asthma, and like those conditions, it can lead to serious consequences—including death—if it is ignored. The approaches to this problem include:
First and foremost, listen carefully to your child or adolescent, and take his feelings and problems seriously.
One study of suicidal adolescents indicated that 90 percent felt that they were not understood by their families. Expressions of worry or a sad mood should never be met with indifference or (worse) a shallow rebuff (”You’ll get over it” or “Snap out of it!”). Sit down, shut off the TV, look your son or daughter in the eye, and hear what he or she has to say—without judging, rebuking, or trivializing it. It might help enormously if you can say honestly that you (or others you know and respect) have struggled with some of the same feelings.
Get a physician’s evaluation.
Usually a number of physical symptoms such as fatigue or headaches will need to be assessed, and rarely a specific disorder (for example, thyroid abnormalities) will be responsible for the entire gamut of emotional and physical complaints.
Get counseling with a qualified individual about the issues of life, including past problems, family interactions, stressful situations, and other concerns.
This shouldbe carried out with someone who is trained to do this type of work with young people and who also shares your basic values. Do not assume that a depression can be “straightened out” in one or two counseling sessions. Normally several weeks (sometimes months) of work will be necessary. Be prepared to become involved yourself at some point in the process. No depression occurs in a vacuum, and family dynamics very often are part of both the problem and the solution.
Be willing to consider medication.
This can play a very important role in the treatment of depression. Antidepressants can normalize disturbances in neurotransmitter function and are neither addictive nor an “escape from reality.” On the contrary, more often than not they allow the individual to tackle life issues much more effectively, and they greatly accelerate the recovery process. The decision to use medication and the choice of a particular agent will involve careful discussion with a primary-care physician or psychiatrist who can prescribe it and monitor its effects. Assuming that positive results are obtained, it is common to continue medication on a maintenance basis for a number of months. (The neu rochemistry of depression is not like a streptococcal throat infection that can be resolved with ten days of treatment.)
Be willing to consider hospitalization.
In severe cases, where the emotions have been extremely unstable or there has been suicidal behavior, hospitalization will usually be recommended in order to initiate treatment and ensure safety. The type of program utilized will vary considerably, depending on community resources, health insurance benefits, and the needs of the depressed individual.
Continue to support and pray for your depressed child. He needs to know that you are there for him and that you do not think of him as “crazy” or a colossal failure for having this problem. Prayer serves as an acknowledgment by parent and child that God alone has a complete understanding of this complex situation. Counseling and medication may serve as useful tools, but they are best used under His guidance.
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What can be done about depression?
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