All My Children

Sexual abuse is so psychologically complex for the victim that its true incidence is difficult to ascertain. Shame and embarrassment heavily shroud this form of abuse, and many victims fail to report it. However, current estimates suggest that as many as 20 percent of children will be sexually abused in some way before they reach adulthood.²

It is important to understand that sexual abuse can take a variety of forms. The common denominator is that a child or adolescent is used in some way for the sexual stimulation of another person who is an adult or at least significantly older than the victim or someone who holds power or control over the victim. Sexual contact involves any form of physical touch that is intended to provoke sexual arousal of the abuser or the victim. This can include:

• Direct genital contact with the victim, including penetrative intercourse (vaginal, anal, or oral), whether or not overpowering force was used.
• Fondling, rubbing, touching, or manipulating genitals or breasts, including simulated intercourse.
• Kissing or touching clothed or unclothed areas of the victim’s body for sexual stimulation or arousal.

Sexual interactions do not involve direct physical touch and may be more difficult for the victim to interpret, but they are no less abusive. These can include:

• Visual interactions in which the perpetrator deliberately watches a naked child or adolescent or exposes the victim to sexual imagery—whether pornographic literature or videos or an exhibition of his or her own body—to obtain sexual arousal. Very often exposing a child to pornographic material is intended to desensitize the child to more overt sexual contact.

• Verbal interactions in which inappropriate sexual or suggestive comments are made about the child or adolescent, usually in a degrading or seductive manner.

• Psychological interactions in which a chid or adolescent becomes a confidant in an adult’s highly personal or even sexual matters. In such cases a child may become a surrogate spouse or partner with whom the abuser shares deep and intimate secrets that violate appropriate boundaries between adult and child.

While some of the situations listed above might sound less severe than others, every form of sexual exploitation is destructive and degrading, an assault on the body and soul of the victim. Even in situations where a child or adolescent is seduced into apparent compliance with ongoing sexual activity, this is never a victimless crime. The consequences are not only damaging physically—involving at least pain and at worst injuries and/or exposure to sexually transmitted disease— but emotionally and spiritually as well. Children who are sexually abused are at risk later in life for various forms of self-destructive behavior, distorted or impaired long-term relationships (including difficulty with marital commitment and sexuality), addictions, and overall feelings of shame and worthlessness.

Sexual abuse occurs at all socioeconomic levels. As with physical abuse, instances of sexual abuse involving a total stranger are far less common than those in which the perpetrator is someone the child knows—in a worst-case scenario, one of his own parents. Risk factors for the child include the absence of the natural father at home, parental discord, poor relationship with one or both parents, a parent who was sexually abused as a child, and general lack of supervision. However, even children who are raised by attentive parents in an intact family might be victimized by a relative, a neighbor, a caregiver, or an adult in a position of authority over them, such as a camp counselor or a youth leader.

This violation of a child’s trust by someone in a close relationship—a personwho is supposed to be looking after his welfare and protecting him from harm extremely damaging to a child’s basic understanding of the world. One of theoddest assignments of parenting is to warn children about the possible risks “out there” and to help them become streetwise about the dangers they might encounter as they grow up and become more independent. Being sexually abused someone who isn’t “out there” but who instead is in a child’s circle of trusted family, friends, or acquaintances sends a very powerful message to the abused:

There isn’t any place in the world that is safe, and you can’t trust anyone. This mind-set is a major mental and emotional handicap, and years of counseling could be required to overcome it.

Children who have been sexually abused can be difficult to identify since most children are too afraid or embarrassed to disclose it. The power of secrecy is profound, particularly when the abuser is a family member. Very often the perpetrator either seduces a child into silence (”This is just our little secret”) or threatens the child with emotional or bodily harm if anyone finds out what h happened.

There are several signs of sexual abuse that parents might look for:

• Sexual knowledge or speech that is not appropriate for the child’s age (excluding normal bathroom fascination and humor in the early grades).
• Overtly sexual behavior or demonstrations. While children fantasize frequently, the content of normal fantasy does not include adult sexual acts.
• Depression, including suicidal behavior.
• Disturbed sleep and nightmares that are more frequent than usual.
• Refusal or extreme reluctance to go to a particular place or spend time with a particular person.
• Fear of being left alone.
• Physical complaints such as abdominal pain or headaches.

Vaginal discharge or pain on urination. Recurrent urinary tract infections in girls or boys, while usually not indicative of sexual abuse, can occur because of it.

Sexual abuse is so abhorrent for children as well as parents that denial of its existence by either party is not only common but often doggedly persistent. Often mothers fail to recognize it in their daughters. Even when the abuser is not a family member, parents might not believe a child’s story or, while acknowledging the abuse, may downplay its effects on the child. One of the most devastating scenarios for a child or adolescent is to be subjected to ongoing abuse because everyone looks the other way instead of coming to his rescue.

In many cases, the accuracy of a younger child’s testimony regarding sexual abuse is called into question or even flatly challenged. However, in light of their concrete thinking patterns, it is almost impossible for young children to concoct sexual scenarios about which they should have little or no knowledge unless the events have actually occurred. In fact, since sexual abuse embodies tremendous shame, even children with physical signs of abuse frequently deny its occurrence.

Parents must be strong enough to listen carefully, face the fact that abuse may indeed are occurred, and then support their child or adolescent through its aftermath. is includes the process of physical evaluation (which can be highly threaten- g and uncomfortable for a child, even in the best of hands), as well as appropriate psychological and spiritual counseling, which will need to extend for months or possibly years to repair the damage.

It is also critical to take appropriate action to protect the child from the perpetrator. Aside from the obvious step of ensuring that the abuser does not have further access to the child, appropriate legal action should be taken. There may, however, be considerable reluctance to put a child through the trauma of interogation by police, testimony in court, and so forth, especially if the abuser is own to the family. But it is also critical that the child knows that this violation is not going to be ignored or taken lightly. Furthermore, taking action could prevent other children from being victimized by the same perpetrator.

Possibly related posts: (automatically generated)
Protect Your Children from Sexual Abuse

• Understand your children and Protect them from Physical abuse
• Sexual Identity in Childhood continue...
• Avoid Premarital Sex, how to Educate your Children to Wait, Relational Reasons to Persuade
• How to teach your Children to avoid Premarital sex, Emotional Reasons to Wait
• What Can Parents do to reduce the Risk of Premarital Adolescent Sex? Part 1
• Street Children, break-up of Families in the South Africa
• Be aware of these specific risk factors for teen sex
• The Importance of Opposite-Gender Relationships
• Extreme in Discipline: What Not to Do
• Emotional abuse and Neglect

Trackback URI | Comments RSS