Mar 25 2008

Children Physical Fitness and Sports continue…

Published by dodo at 12:33 am under Children, Family, Girls, Parenting

Participation in sports and competition can have many benefits for children: developing strength and coordination, acquiring self-discipline, learning cooperation and sportsmanship, and building friendships. But these activities also have the potential to cause physical injury; generate considerable stress or permanent emotional scars; and nourish a host of negative attitudes, including elitism, hostility, and an obsession with winning. To maintain balance and build positive experiences through sports, revisit the following questions on a regular basis:dren: developing strength and coordination, acquiring self-discipline, learning cooperation and sportsmanship, and building friendships. But these activities also have the potential to cause physical injury; generate considerable stress or permanent emotional scars; and nourish a host of negative attitudes, including elitism, hostility, and an obsession with winning. To maintain balance and build positive experiences through sports, revisit the following questions on a regular basis:

  • Is your child really interested in this activity? You may have loved Little League, but your child may prefer soccer.
  • Is your child physically and emotionally ready to practice and compete in the sport?
  • Is the proper protective equipment available and used at all times?
  • Do the coaches and trainers enjoy working with children, including the least skilled? Are they focused on the right attitudes and values (see below), or do they appear driven to win at all costs? Are they competent?
  • Do you have the resources and time to support your child through the tryouts, practices, and events?
  • How heavily is your child’s—or your own—self-concept dependent on his success? Does the emotional weather at your home rise and fall with the fortunes of the team or your child’s ranking at the last swim meet?Kids
  • Are positive values being taught and modeled by all concerned? Is unsportsmanlike conduct tolerated? Are parents who watch the events behaving themselves?
  • Are we having fun yet? The vast majority of children will not become professional athletes or Olympic contenders, so the experiences of sports and competition should be enjoyed, not endured. If the sport becomes a thorn in your child’s side or constantly drains her of energy and joy, reconsider goals and priorities.

When is it okay to quit?

Your daughter begged you to let her begin gymnastics classes, but now her muscles are sore, and it’s clear that it is hard work—much harder than she thought it would be. Furthermore, she’s not as good as the other girls, and more than a couple of times she’s landed with a painful thud on the mat. She’s had enough, but you’ve spent ninety-five dollars for a class that will continue for another six weeks. Do you let her bail out or make her continue to the bitter end—perhaps quoting the adage that “winners never quit and quitters never win”?

The answer will depend on your child and her track record. If she has a habit of making enthusiastic false starts and rarely bringing any project to completion, she will probably benefit from the experience of struggling to complete the course she started. This reality therapy will be especially important if you have funded the classes after she promised to finish them. In this case, being true to her word is the issue rather than the classes themselves.

When the activity in question is something that other family members enjoy together, such as skiing or skating, some positive encouragement to struggle through the learning process in order to enjoy a lifelong payoff would be appropriate.

If she has been consistently involved in other longterm activities but is clearly miserable in this one, you may want to let her quietly retire. Make sure the problem isn’t a mismatch of child and coach or a mistaken entry into a group that is too advanced. At times a change of venue, trainer, or team can make a significant difference. However, if the activity proves to be a dead end, don’t berate her for it. Allowing her to maintain her dignity will accomplish far more than any trophy on the family shelf.

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Children Physical Fitness and Sports continue…

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